Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
