Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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