That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
