I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
