Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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