i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
