i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
