Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
