Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
