no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
