how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
