whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
