Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
