What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
