i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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