Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
