im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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