On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
