It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
