Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
