i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
