Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
