oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
your like the ambassador to my penis.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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