mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
