he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
