Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
