It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
