Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
