I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
