Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
