dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
