I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
