marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Holy sore nipples Batman
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
