what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
