Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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