I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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