Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
