so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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