shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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