This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
