I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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