i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
