he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
