He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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