Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
