If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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