i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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