have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
