I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
