Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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