I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
