Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
