i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
