i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
