Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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