You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
