Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
